Boy, things are different here in the big city. I'm in the process of getting together some equipment to build a teleportation rig. You know, your basic atom strippers, gravity rails, Heisenberg compensators, basic stuff. Professor Excellence, in his enormous ego, has published his work in the field. And really, if you just follow along, it's not that hard to do. Well, the stuff is not so basic because it's all stored in random high-tech labs around the city. So I grab the armor suit and head over to snag some shiny technology.
It's not like the sleepy University town though. There's already a super-villain there. Bad form. I didn't have my Noticer's Guide to Super-Humans with me so I couldn't ID him. His face kind of looked like a crab having a hemorrhoids attack, if that makes any sense. He was incomprehensibly ranting (Having a hemorrhoidal crab-face apparently gives you a very heavy accent.) and battling some sort of Roman-themed hero. I really need to study my Noticer's if I'm going to hang around here, I didn't recognize him either. They fought for a while, but I decided that they had a kind of a thing going and went back to the Den of Evil.
In the end I came away empty-handed. I'm not used to this hectic super-human city. Maybe next time I need to make an appointment or something. Or wake up early.
Take a number
Were you atomized today?
What a weekend!
The Atom-Vortex was activated while Hunter, my foolish "intern" dimly stood in the Convection Chamber (I tricked him into entering by leaving the door open and placing an cheesesteak sandwich inside). I observed via the closed circuit monitor. As the Vortex achieved critical levels the chamber began to fill with dancing green sparks. It was beautiful and fascinating. I honestly could not pull my eyes away. Hunter, as well, was mesmerized. He cautiously reached out to feel the flickering blobs. They floated, as if underwater, when he touched them. His hair began to raise away from his scalp from the powerful static currents. I wonder if he actually thought this was usual for an internship. Watching the lights and colors, I felt a deep peace like I have never experienced... and then the sparks began to speed up. They raced around the room, constantly gaining velocity, whipping all around Hunter's figure, coating him in their green glow.
Then the sparks began to tear away his body, atom by atom. I'm assuming that Hunter was screaming in pain. His mouth was open and he was bent over with pain. Thank goodness I didn't take the time to install a microphone in the chamber, what an annoyance it would have been to have to hear his death cries! His body evaporated like sand pouring through a hand, and Hunter vanished. This ended my feelings of tranquility. My first experiment, a failure! I sat for some time in the viewing room pondering my next move when I happened to notice movement on the video screen: the idiot intern was alive! Somehow, despite having the reasoning capability of a cinder-block, Hunter had managed to re-incorporate himself! He survived!
I quickly regathered my composure, shut down the Vortex, and went into the chamber. "Gosh, how did that happen? The safety mechanism should have had this door locked! Hunter, are you all right?" Now, I haven't acted since my grade school production of "The Little Engine That Could", but Hunter seemed entirely convinced of my false sincerity. Of course, Hunter is (as I said before) an idiot. But, he is now a super-powered idiot. I've begun initial testing to see what sort of capabilities he has acquired, and so far it has been impressive. He appears to have enhanced strength, speed, and durability, and although he could not yet replicate it, he was able to project a beam of green energy out of his hand.
This is fantastic! Tomorrow, I will duplicate the process with myself and begin the first step to super-villainy. I understand Professor Excellence's "Double Lightning Strike Theory" that powers cannot be exactly duplicated, but I am very optimistic that by tomorrow I will officially be a super-villain.
So tonight, I will dream of my new powers and the glories they will lead to. That, and setting several powerful explosives in Hunter's sleeping quarters. Mustn't have any loose ends.
Machines and minions
Rome was not built in a day. In this timeline, at least. So, I am ramping up slowly to my status as a super-villain. The first conundrum to overcome is key: acquiring powers. Now, as I mentioned yesterday, I have obtained some components from The University's surplus store. Professor Excellence required 6 cyclotrons (compensating for something "Excellence?") for one of his big trans-dimensional bubble cannons last year (It drove off The Walking Blackhole, if you recall), and in doing so the University was left with several pieces of old atom-warping machinery that no longer worked. Thanks to the state laws that forbid the outright discarding of University/taxpayer property these components were available at very reasonable prices.
According to The Noticer's Guide to Super-Humans, roughly 34% of all super-humans gained their abilities after a mechanical mishap. Experimental explosion, radioactive badger, trans-dimensional doorway malfunction, you know, the usual.
Now I have cobbled together the pieces and intend to endow myself with abilities (as yet unknown) beyond those of mortal men. But, there is also a good chance I will be vaporized. To test the machine I have enlisted the assistance of my first minion! Yes, a college student named Hunter is now assisting me. He believes that this is an internship, and that he will snag an easy 3 credit hours. Oh yes, Hunter, it will be easy... if you survive! "Oh, no, it's perfectly safe. I'll just be standing right here behind 15 feet of reinforced steel." Foolish intern.
