Let me cut you off...

I keep getting e-mails from Autonomous Robot, Terror of the Slums, and a couple of other low-grade super-villains. "Why haven't you updated?" "Where is your next post?" "How do I know how to become a better super-villain?" Great. I'm the leader of a bunch of has-beens and never-will-bes.

Okay, you pathetic losers. Here's what I've been doing; the perfect bank robbery. Now, I know I've mentioned before what I think about crime for financial gain. But this is different. This is about perfecting my technique. I've got my teleportation rig set up within the armor so I can open a portal to a specific place and then walk right through. So the plan is simple; teleport into a bank vault, throw bags of cash through the portal (into my apartment, where the minion organizes it), and then walk out. It's easy, has netted me about $1.2 million in a week, and has jumped me up the Most Wanted charts (#22, suckers!). I even heard that Admiral Admirable, (Yes, the Admiral Admirable) mentioned that he would take steps to stop my "plague of larceny". Oh, Admiral. "Plague of Larceny?" You can coin a phrase.

But if you think that's totally awesome, (Which it is, Autonomous Robot, you pitiful sack of circuits.) listen to this. I'm in the middle of the robbery scheme and the Purple Pirate busts in and tries to take me out. I'm just about done with the robbery, so I ignore him and close my portal to leave. Well, I guess the Pirate moves faster then I thought, because he was nearly on me. Too bad for him that the portal closed and severed his head clean off! Holy crap! I killed the Purple Pirate! That should move me into the Top 20 for sure.