A wake-up call

Apparently, I've been, uh, out of it for a while. This is news to me, of course. I was trying to get a handle on the new, totally awesome, cosmic scope of my Walking Blackhole-gifted-abilities. The transition was, I'll admit, a little rough. The days of sleeplessness had me grappling with real philosophical demons; "Is my 'Super-villain' moniker stupid, or brilliant?", "Why are my eyes on fire?", "Does anyone else smell cotton candy?".

Finally (finally!) I was able to reach a singular state of Zen With The Universe And All The Life It Encompasses Throughout The Countless Eons and find sleep. Or I just punched myself in the face until I blacked out (U-Make-The-Call!).

Well, let me take a step back here for a second. There are 2 terrible things that happened during my rest. First, my body recuperated from my cosmic upgrade. Well not recuperate, exactly. I've gathered that the cosmic energy is rewriting my body to comply with the Walking Blackhole's needs of a Vanguard: flight, cool energy abilities, and a singular tuning to his Terrible Hunger. To do all that, the old body has to go. So the glowing eyes were just a sign of my body being disintegrated from the inside out! So in exchange for these new powers I get cooked from within, like a hot dog in a microwave. So my body more is more "regurgitated", than recuperated. I guess it's a long process too, because I had to form a cocoon of organic rock and lose two months on my Year of Super-Villainy.

Yes, I was floating in the depths of space in an asteroid like cocoon for 2 months. Will anyone back on Earth even remember me? All that brand building I worked on, and I let it all go to waste? Gah! Actually, 2 months isn't so bad. The process didn't totally finish. I actually got prematurely awoken from my hibernation by an interstellar super-hero fight. That brings me to the second terrible thing to happen to me. The thing that woke me up? The first face I see after the long metamorphosis?

Green Hunter!


Hamster said...

Miss run-wheel.

Run, run, run, run, run, wheeeeee!!!

Autonomous Robot said...

OMG, I am so glad yur BACK!!!

Dude, I missed you so much.

Don't worry, I got both the newspapers that announced yur disappearance.

Call me when you get back to Earth and I'll give them to you.

We could, you know, get dinner and stuff, too...

Walking Blackhole said...

Ha, I TOTALLY got you!!!

You shoulda seen the look on your face, and you were all, "Oh, my glowing eyes, they're so INCONVENIENT!!!"

I was laughing my ass off. I'm all, "Dude, don't tell Super Villain, but his body is disintigrating from the inside out!"

I got a great shot of it up on YouTube.